How to reset & rest when you’re busy
Rest! Are you joking?! For most Mums and Carers, the idea of resting can seem absurd. Indulgent even. Most certainly unfamiliar and unpractised. And anyway, there is no time for all that! So I've been looking into different ways of resting that are [...]
Its the small stuff – the importance of Glimmers
Don’t underestimate how important ‘Glimmers’ are to your nervous system. These are tiny moments of joy, connection or relaxation that you can notice in your day and lean into. They create a mini nervous system reset and once you start spotting them they [...]
Rumbling with your emotions
Brene Brown's book "Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience" is an amazing journey into the depths of the human heart and the superpower of vulnerability. She combines research, personal stories, and some serious wisdom to guide [...]
Stolen Focus – why you can’t pay attention
This was an eye-opening read 👀 I would urge you to read it for yourself. Johann Hari argues that our lives are filled with constant distractions that prevent us from fully engaging in the world around us, leading to feelings of disconnection, anxiety [...]
The Power of Introverts (in a world that can’t stop talking)
This book is a real gem. It had me intrigued from the brilliant straplines on the cover: "The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking" "For far too long, those who are naturally quiet, serious or sensitive have been overlooked. [...]
10 great counselling books
I'm often asked by clients what books I could recommend that would support their self-discovery. There are SO MANY books that I love, but these are my top picks for today. I love to read an actual book, but many of these are [...]
Holidays as the ‘default parent’
After the last few years of disruption with Covid, many families are heading off on their holidays this year for the first time in a while. It can often be an unsettling time for children and a stressful time for parents in the [...]
10 things I’ve learnt this year as a Counsellor
Counsellors will all agree that our clients are our best teachers. Here are some of the things that I've learnt this year: Happiness is in the small things Being a parent or a carer is extremely difficult at times If you don't make [...]
How to ‘unfreeze’ your nervous system
You might already be familiar with how our nervous systems respond to threats - with the fight, flight and freeze automatic responses. This post delves a bit more into the freeze response and how we can spot it, and how we can work through [...]
The Science of Changing Habits
I listened to a brilliant 'Weekend University' podcast all about how habits are formed and what can help us to make changes in our lives. Wendy Woods, author of 'Good Habits, Bad Habits' broke down some of the mechanisms that put our brains [...]
RAIN self compassion meditation
This RAIN meditation is a really handy check-in with yourself by Tara Brach. It is quick and easy and can be used here and there throughout the day to come home to yourself with self compassion amidst your day to day challenges. It [...]
Shining a light on loneliness
We all feel lonely at times – it’s a normal human emotion. We're biologically wired for social contact, and loneliness is our signal that we need more. It’s totally normal. Why loneliness feels so bad Human beings evolved to feel safest in groups, [...]
‘Hard shoulders’ of support
⚠️ Use hardshoulder ⚠️ I love this sign and sunset on the way back from my son’s clinic appointment today. It got me thinking... So often it’s easy to discount the ‘hard shoulders’ of support that ARE there, particularly when external resources and services [...]
Is self-care what you think it is?
Often the very mention of self-care, can send busy parents and carers into a tailspin of outrage. "I'm managing all this and now I have to meditate for hours, have bubble baths and go to the spa! Can't you see what I'm dealing [...]
5 steps to overcoming people-pleasing
People-pleasing involves putting other people’s needs ahead of your own. People-pleasers are highly attuned to others and are often seen as agreeable, helpful, and kind. There can be benefits of being a people pleaser in the short term, such as not rocking the [...]
Breaking the cycle of anxiety
Changing how you think about things in therapy can change the structure of your brain and the chemicals that it's pumping out. So how can we change our brain to help process anxiety? The purpose of anxiety The purpose of anxiety is to [...]
Love in a mist – Parenting a neurodivergent child
These beautiful love-in-a-mist flowers (or snog-in-the-fog depending on where you're from!) reminded me that I wanted to write about parenting neurodivergent children. Because sometimes it can feel quite foggy and misty, when there is a lot of uncertainty about how your child might [...]
JOMO – Joy of missing out
I can imagine that I'm not alone in loving this permission to be content with staying in as a form of self-care. Who is with me? The older I get the more in tune I get with what I really need. Sometimes it [...]
Ssssshhhh! Why is noise so triggering for Mums?
Mums are often subjected to an absolute onslaught to the senses, throughout the day. What parents often tell me is that they find that noise is particularly triggering and overwhelming. So what can we do about it? Picture the scene - you've had [...]
Day by Day, Emotional Wellbeing in Parents of Disabled Children
I was so excited to discover this fabulous book 'Day by Day' by Joanna Griffin, a Psychologist, and parent of a disabled child herself. The book explores what helps, and hinders, parent carers' emotional wellbeing. It is jam-packed with practical guidance, which is [...]
This is what a Carer might look like…
This is what a Carer might look like. Might be a gamer, a child, a pensioner, an accountant, a builder, a nurse, a Dad, a teacher, a policeman, an artist, a Mum... It's National Carers' Week and I'll be helping to raise awareness [...]
Wisdom from the legendary Professor Kelly
This week, marked the retirement of one of the most important people in my life - Professor Deirdre Kelly CBE - who was the consultant who led the team that saved my son's life. She set up the specialist paediatric liver unit at [...]
How can I describe my emotions?
Sometimes when people are asked to describe how they are feeling, they are unsure of what the right words might be to describe their emotions. After all, many of us have not been brought up with a wide vocabulary around emotions and feelings, so [...]
The place in between – waiting for a diagnosis
As a parent, you know full well when there's 'something going on' for your child or teenager. You may not really know what you are dealing with, but you can tell that something just isn't quite right (beyond the usual concerns that parents [...]
Carers at increased risk of burnout, says new study
The coronavirus pandemic has had a hefty impact on Carers in the UK, with 7 in 10 unpaid Carers saying that their emotional and mental health has deteriorated. People in the UK reported spending on average 4.6 more hours a week caring compared [...]
Being a SEN parent (Ooooof)
If you are a SEN parent, the word 'oooof' might resonate with you. The paperwork. The meetings. The misunderstandings. The repetition. The not being invited to the party. The struggle to get them to attend school. The impact on your work. The cost [...]
3 easy Grounding Techniques
When life comes in overwhelming waves, it is useful to have some grounding techniques up your sleeve. If you've practiced them in calmer times, they can be quickly remembered and put into action to help you to weather the storm. Here are a [...]
Caring for yourself while caring for someone else
I was lucky enough to stumble upon this fabulous book whilst chatting to my hairdresser. I've known him for years, and luckily we're way past the "where are you going on your holiday?" chatter. We got onto the subject of people's experiences of being [...]
How can Counselling support Carers?
One of the queries that I have come across when Carers first come to me, is the question of how Counselling and emotional support might be able to help them. After all, often the situation that Carers are in might be unlikely to [...]
What is CBT?
CBT is a buzzword you may have heard being used in the media or by a healthcare professional. So what is it exactly and how might it help? What is CBT? CBT stands for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. Its a talking therapy that looks [...]
What’s outside the window?
This cool little rainbow cloud was floating by my garden early yesterday evening. It sums up lockdown in one photo for me and the hope that things will improve for us all soon. I only saw it by chance as I was working [...]
Don’t water the weeds…
At this time of year, with spring well on its way, I am reminded of one of my favourite sayings 'don't water the weeds'. We know that the things that we focus on can magnify. We have the flexibility to choose what we [...]
He loves me… he loves me not…
It's Valentine's Day, and whether you are in a relationship at the moment or not, it's good to be really clear about what the qualities of a healthy relationship are. He loves me: Makes me feel safe Makes me feel comfortable Listens to [...]
The Fundamentals of Caring
I stumbled upon a film on Netflix yesterday, 'The Fundamentals of Caring'. It covers the relationship between care workers and the people that they support. The film begins with a training course for Care Workers. The tutor explained the acronym ALOHA, which means [...]
When it all feels a bit hopeless
We're in the first week of Lockdown 3, and it is already feeling a bit like Groundhog Day. However, one advantage of staying at home is that there is lots more time for reading. Reading is great for opening up new perspectives on [...]
Thank you for using my name
You may suddenly realise that you are in uncharted parenting territory, when instead of being referred to by your name, you suddenly become 'Harry's Mum' or even just 'Mum'. It jars a bit at first, but with a class of over 30, you [...]
Musings on Connection
2020 has been a year of reminders about the importance of connection. For many, it has been a time of loneliness, and an antidote to loneliness is connection. That could be connecting with others, connecting with nature, and connecting in a meaningful way [...]
Sending Christmassy Vibes to You
Christmas can be a stressful time and for many people, it's a time of reflection that things are not quite as we'd want them to be. Mums often take a large role in organising Christmas festivities. The expectation is for Mums to juggle [...]
7-11 Breathing Technique for Relaxation
In a Counselling Session, it's common for me to remind my clients to breathe. So why do I do that? How does it help? And what kind of breathing should I be doing? The Science This is where I think it helps to [...]
Burnout – What is it? What can we do about it?
The word 'burnout' comes up A LOT in my Counselling room. So I thought I'd do a bit of extra reading to see what the latest research is saying about it. Here is a short book review of 'Burnout - The secret to [...]
Counselling for the Transplant Process
There is nothing quite like going through the experience of having a Transplant. If you know, you know. Waiting for the life-saving call that a donor has been found, phone glued to your hand, a rush of adrenaline through your body every time [...]
How Self Compassion can be a game changer
A good friend of mine recommended a book by Kristin Neff called 'Self Compassion' which she said was great for improving how we deal with difficult situations. I thought it sounded like an excellent idea worth checking out for my clients but was [...]
Staying at Home – Online counselling via Zoom
What a strange time we find ourselves in, all staying at home. We're unable to see friends and family and live our lives as we normally do, because of Covid-19. I am so sorry that I am unable to provide counselling in a [...]
Mental Health 5 a day
Many years ago, I heard an article on the radio about '5 a day for your mental health' and it stuck with me. We have all been well versed in the importance of 5 a day in terms of portions of fruit and [...]