Joy of missing outI can imagine that I’m not alone in loving this permission to be content with staying in as a form of self-care. Who is with me?

The older I get the more in tune I get with what I really need. Sometimes it is a really good night out with friends, but increasingly I am enjoying time to recharge my batteries quietly at home. That might be reading a book, watching a film, or having a lazy Sunday.

The joy really comes when I decide to disconnect in this way as an active choice. When I learn which invitations to accept, which invitations to make, and which to step back from.

So often I hear from other Mums that what they really want is some time in their house to be left alone, undisturbed. To potter around, to ‘waste time’, to be unproductive. There is real treasure in the permission to stop wearing busyness as a badge of honour, and to slow down a bit.

If you are in a caring role, the thought of there being anything joyous about missing out might feel pretty jarring. When not being able to attend something is foisted upon you due to circumstances, that has a very different energy about it. Indeed, a heavy dose of self-compassion is probably required when it’s not possible to attend a much-anticipated event. It sucks.

Tuning in to what you need in the moment, literally by asking yourself ‘what do I need now?’, can throw up some really interesting self-awareness. Sometimes, deciding to actively disconnect is what we need. At other times, it’s picking up the phone and making a connection with someone else, or arranging to go out.

Either way, I am adding JOMO to my self-care toolkit, to dip into from time to time.

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